We’re here… its now gone 9pm and Violet is finally asleep. I can’t sleep yet… so I’ve powered up my laptop to share my day with you.
I didn’t sleep well last night – in fact, I slept badly… unsurprisingly, I might add. This morning I flapped around the house, almost delirious with anxiety. I baked a carrot cake to keep my mind off the road trip that Violet and I were about to embark on.
The taxi showed up at 11.40am and the journey took an hour and 40 minutes. We checked into Koala ward and first impressions are what I expected to be honest – the staff are all lovely, the hospital is clean, and in fact, Koala ward is one of the newest bits of the hospital.
I think the thing about a place like GOSH is that its eye opening… there are lots and lots of very sick children here. All of a sudden I felt like a fraud and Violet’s invisible issues pale in comparison to some of the kids I have seen today. Although my “mummy nerves” remain, I feel as though my situation (Violet’s condition) has been properly put in its place and I am feeling very, very lucky indeed that its is a relatively minor problem.
So we have been seen today by a peri-surgical (sp) medic, a surgical fellow and the top man himself, our surgeon. Alongside these important visits and chats, I have had to sign consents, fill in a huge pack of forms and hand Violet over for 4 hourly obs, a set of swabs, bloods and the fitting of a canula. Its been busy.
Violet has been a little superstar – grinning broadly at anyone who will give her the time of day. She has outright refused to eat and sleep as she would at home though – far too much going on and unfamiliar surroundings make for a slightly unsettled baby. She finally nodded off at 9pm. I am sleeping in a chairbed type thing next to her and I am so very grateful I can stay with her.
Tomorrow is the big day then… she is allowed one final milk feed at 4.45am, then water up until 9am and then she will be taken for her op at 11am. Although she will be gone from us for 4 – 5 hours, the operation itself should last around an hour and a half.
I doubt I will get much sleep tonight. I am so very grateful to the NHS right now though. I am very grateful that places like GOSH exist.
Thank you all for your ongoing support. Thank you for all the messages, emails and text messages. It’s nice to know that there are so many people rooting for my littlest lady.
Night night x